Author: Editor, Kingdom Revelator

Life 

Light at the end of the Tunnel

“I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.” Psalms 91:2

Struck Down Suddenly with Kidney Disease

Until the age of twelve, I was a normal child, I was doing well at school and I was active and healthy by the grace of God. Then all of a sudden, I became unwell. I woke up one morning with so much swelling on my face, I couldn’t even see properly. I was taken to the GP where the doctors gave me three different allergy tablets to take for a month thinking it was a reaction to something. When all this failed to make me better, Dad and Mum asked for me to be referred to a specialist. I was seen by consultants who said that it was a serious problem and they took me straight to the ward for blood tests. I was diagnosed with a kidney disease.

My Parents encouraged me to Pray

Very soon, I was under the care of Southampton General Hospital. They did a biopsy by taking some tissue from my kidney, as the steroids I had been taking for three months were having no effect. The biopsy results showed that it was a more complicated kidney disease. They said that there was no cure for it so I had to try many different immuno suppressant medicines which made me more ill for nearly two years. It came to the stage where I was getting really puffy and swollen all over. Sometimes, I couldn’t even walk because I was so swollen and my family were going backwards and forwards to the hospital all the time. My parents suffered a great deal financially, mentally and physically during this hard time but they never gave up hope and encouraged me to be strong and pray to God.

My Kidneys were Removed

I had lots of hospital admissions. I missed months of school and I missed all my friends. I missed many school trips. By God’s Grace, I was awarded many achievement award trips at school but due to my condition, I was unable to go for any of them. My little sister missed out most during my hospital admissions as my parents spent so much time with me. Gradually my kidney function got worse and I was becoming more and more ill. None of the medicines were working. Eventually, the doctors decided that my kidneys were doing more damage than good so they had to be removed. I could not believe that this was happening to me. I had kidney failure. In the next few months, I had three major operations and suffered much pain and agony due to the surgery.

I Thank God that I can have the Dialysis at Home

When I was suffering in hospital, I would pray to the Lord to ease my pain and then I would feel much better. I am now dependent on dialysis, where a machine does the work of my kidneys. God has helped me so much. He has showed me ways to deal with the situation and enabled me to have the dialysis at home. I thank God for giving my Dad and my Mum the strength and knowledge to look after my dialysis at home. This means that I do not need to miss any school, my sister can always be with us and we all have a bit of normality back in our lives. God is so great, greater than any of us can ever imagine.

Never Give Up Hope

Right now, I thank God for everything he has done for me. I have such a wonderful family who are with me every step of the way, so many understanding friends, such caring doctors and nurses to look after me. I can never thank the Lord enough. I pray for all those little children and people who are suffering right now. I pray for everyone who is struggling with a similar illness, who do not have the facilities that I have. I ask God to help them like he helped me. For all those who are suffering out there, you should never give up hope. Just hold God close to your heart and everything will be well.

My fight with kidney failure still continues but I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel…

Written by Risa Romy

Vocation 

Called to the Religious Life

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalm 105:4

The Search for meaning and direction

I am originally from Zimbabwe, the youngest of a family of six. I was brought up a practicing Catholic and owe to my parents the gift of my faith, especially my dad. It was his love for me that taught me to believe in God’s unconditional love for me just as I am. As I grew up I took my faith for granted, and it was only in my twenties that I started looking at it seriously and I began search for meaning and direction in my life, whilst at the same time trying to discern God’s will for me, which I hoped would be marriage. Around that time I had the experience of falling in love but it didn’t work out. It left me heartbroken but I was still full of hope and expectations about the lucky man who was going to capture my heart and marry me.

I met a lovely Franciscan Sister

In 1999 I came to England with no desire whatsoever of becoming a nun, but later that year I attended a ‘Life in the Spirit’ seminar and there I met a lovely Franciscan Sister who God used to plant the seed of religious life into my heart. For some months following this meeting I struggled a lot with this; the more I resisted religious life the more insistent the call became, but at the time I still had a lot of fight left in me. Then I came across a group for people discerning their vocation in life. Here I was to receive immense encouragement and support from like-minded people facing the same questions and struggles that I too was going through. From this group, six of us decided to set up a small community who would live together to offer each other support and encouragement. This was another gift from God as it taught me how to live in a community.

Which Order should I Join?

In deciding which Order to join I was greatly inspired by St Thérèse of Lisieux and Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Like Thérèse I wanted to be a Carmelite Nun and give myself totally to God by living a hidden life and praying for the whole world. But like Mother Teresa I wanted to be a Missionary, to leave my own country and go to another country to spread the Good News about God’s love for us. I was confused but after visiting the Carmelites I did not feel drawn to them, which was disappointing. One of my sisters then suggested I visit the Poor Clare Nuns, another order who dedicate their life to prayer, to which I replied that I had no desire of becoming a Poor Clare at all. When I finally decided to visit them anyway, I had a great surprise, because as soon as I got there I knew that God was calling me to be a Poor Clare, but I still had a lot of sorting out to do. With this revelation also came a lot of pain, indecision, and struggle as I realised all the sacrifices this would involve, like being so far away from my own country, family, etc.

So I thought that maybe I could perhaps join an Order that wasn’t enclosed and was a bit freer than the Poor Clares, but I couldn’t find any peace in any other Order except with them. I finally joined the Poor Clares in 2004 and now I realise that God has fulfilled both my desires: I live a hidden life of prayer and I am also a Missionary away from my own country

God is fulfilling my deepest desires

Many people ask me whether I am happy to be a Poor Clare. But how can one really define happiness? It is like trying to describe being in love, you know you are in love but you cannot put it into words. For me being a nun means that God is fulfilling my deepest desires, because that which I desire most is also God’s desire for me. When I say I am happy I am saying I feel fulfilled and alive in this life; it brings me true joy and peace at a deeper level. This is not happiness without struggles, pain and constant challenges, but a deep felt happiness at the very centre of my being regardless of what life is throwing at me daily. Choosing to be a Poor Clare means that I am able to give myself totally to Jesus, whose love draws me daily, in a way that I feel is only possible as a nun, and in my hidden life I can lift up all the needs of the world in prayer and petition.

The Poor Clares

The Poor Clares are a religious Order for women who want to lead a contemplative life, that is a life dedicated to God through prayer. They live in small groups with other sisters in convents and were started by St Francis and St Clare in 1212 in Assisi in Italy. Their work and mission is to pray for the world and the Church.

The order is called ‘Poor’ Clares because the nuns own no money and do not have any possessions of their own and they have no jobs so do not earn money. St Francis and St Clare saw this as the way to live out the teaching of Jesus, “Go, sell what you have and give the money to the poor, and come follow me.” The order is enclosed meaning that generally the nuns never leave their convent but when necessary and with their superior’s permission they can leave to visit people like the doctors, dentist or hospital. For the most part they stay in the Convent because they want to. The convent is their ‘sacred space’ where they keep in close touch with God without the noise and distractions that surround people most of the time.

Poor Clare nuns take three solemn promises that are a sign of their commitment and consecration to God.

• Poverty – This frees their hearts from being tied down by possessions and gives them a greater freedom, to live like Christ. They give to God their right to own anything.

• Chastity – They promise never to marry. This focuses their love completely on God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

• Obedience – by this vow they give to God their most precious gift, their freewill. In this they are imitating Christ who was obedient unto death on a cross.

Written by Sr Clare Ruva

Uncategorised 

His Love Never Fails

“Even if a mother forgets the child in her womb, I will never forget you, for I have inscribed your name on the palm of my hands.” Isaiah 49:15

 

The Intense Love of our Heavenly Father

I recently learnt something that has completely changed my life. Even though I was brought up in a good Christian family, the Sacrament of Reconciliation was never very important to me. In fact I hadn’t been to confession for three years. Then I went on a Sehion Youth retreat where they talked about the Sacrament and I was convinced about the importance of confession and decided that I should go once again. During my confession, the atmosphere overwhelmed me; I could feel this intense love and forgiveness of the heavenly Father as tears rolled down my eyes. The priest held my hand and reminded me that Jesus has forgiven all my sins and made me a new creation.

I used to fake Godliness!

Sometimes, it is hard for us teenagers to accept God’s love because of the obstacles we face in our daily lives. We doubt God’s immense love because we say to ourselves how can God ever accept sinners like us? Before knowing Jesus, I was one of those typical girls who pretended to be holy and religious. I used to tell others that nothing was more important than Jesus in my life and advise others to be good. But I was a complete hypocrite inside, I used to fake godliness. To the people around me I would act humbly and sincerely, but when I got home I would be rude and often treated my family with disrespect. In fact, when my parents would call me to join family prayers, I always refused them saying that I didn’t need God.

What is Love?

But my life was not going the way I wanted it to go. During my middle school years I faced huge struggles, I was always getting into trouble, mistreating everyone around me, and hurting my loved ones, including my parents. I blamed God for everything in my life and I vividly remember telling my mom that God was never going to solve my problems. It felt that my life had literally hit rock bottom. At that time, I started asking myself, what is this love? What does it mean “to love”? At times it is hard to imagine a love that is greater than that of hardworking parents or trustworthy friends or the passionate bond between husband and wife. Believe it or not, this unimaginable love really exists. This love is enduring, everlasting, and the deepest love of them all, yet the hardest to understand. That is the love of our Heavenly Father.

I will Never Forget You

I remember during my early teenage years, there were times when I slipped away from the faith. There were also times when my own family gave up on me as a way of disciplining me but my “Heavenly Father” never gave up. He came running to me, hugged me, and whispered in my ear that he needed me and he came to find his lost sheep. This is the love of our Abba Father. Isaiah 49:15 says “Even if a mother forgets the child in her womb, I will never forget you, for I have inscribed your name on the palm of my hands.” I learnt that no matter how much we are drowning in our sins or how many wrong turns we might have taken in our lives, Jesus waits for us with his arms open wide, ready to welcome us and celebrate our homecoming just like the prodigal son. Despite all our sins, his mercy and love are poured out upon us unconditionally. Our sins and fears are nothing compared to the love which our Lord Jesus Christ has in store for us. St. Paul declares in Romans 8:38, ‘Nothing of this world can separate us from the love of God.’ Nothing!

The Crucifix tells us how much he loves us

Two thousand years ago, Jesus did something that changed the perspective of every person who has ever lived. As he took his last breath upon the cross, he only thought of you and me. The only thought which crossed His mind was to forgive us, so that we can live in eternity with him, along with all the holy angels and saints. We may call ourselves unworthy but Jesus sacrificed his life for us because we are worthy. The Crucifix is enough to tell us how much He loves us. This is the great love of our Saviour. Today I am very happy to have gone through all those hardships in my life, because they have helped me to understand God better and to get closer to Him.

 

Loving Jesus, give us the grace to love you unconditionally all the days of our life. Come Holy Spirit! Enkindle in us the fire of your love. Amen.

Written by Jenny Simon

Life 

Joking with Jesus

Receive the Holy Spirit

I was brought up as a Christian but I have only come to living the Christian life in these last couple of months since I attended a School of Evangelization (SOE). Since starting to live with Jesus Christ (JC) in my life I have experienced things that I never thought were possible. One of the most incredible things that happened to me was during the SOE. We were praying the Way of the Cross outside and by the last station I had my hands raised up and was praying. Suddenly I felt someone take hold of my hand and a soft breeze began blowing across me from my right side. I realized that it was the Holy Spirit but I did not understand the significance of what had actually happened until a few months later when I read in John 20:22, “Then he breathed on them and said, receive the Holy Spirit.” JC did for me what he had done for his own apostles two thousand years ago; not because I was someone special but because he loves me and wants the best for me.

Christian Life is not Old Fashioned and Lame

If you were to ask young people to describe a Christian life they might describe it as boring, old fashioned, lame or unattractive. If you were to tell your mates that Jesus is a very important part of your life they would think that there is something wrong with you. The truth is, Christian life is anything but old fashioned and lame. As a youngster, I had seen plenty of miracles worked through the power of prayer. I remember when my mum suffered two cracks on her backbone and there was a very real possibility that she would not be able to walk properly again. But, through the power of prayer and the love of Jesus, within four months she was up and walking and went straight back to work.

Things have Started Getting Even More Amazing

Since receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit things have just started getting even more amazing. I started getting visions and was given the ability to speak in tongues – all of which I thought weren’t possible any more. I had read about them in the Bible, but I never thought that we, as Christians today, could have these gifts. Then I went on a “Growth” retreat in January where we were guided through all the fruits of the spirit such as the gifts of healing, knowledge and prophesy. I prayed for and got the gift of healing, not because I was special or worthy in any way but simply because of God’s love for me. These gifts are open to all of us and they come out of our relationship with Jesus.

God Has a Sense of Humour

Slowly I began to realise that prayer is not just about sitting in front of a cross all day, it’s about having a deep and meaningful conversation with God from your heart. God is our loving father and when we talk to him and listen carefully, we will hear him talking back to us. When I was younger, I used to think that Jesus was someone who was serious all the time and wouldn’t have a laugh. I now know that this is so far from the truth. We are made in God’s image and if we have a sense of humour, so does he. I have had many moments when I have had a laugh with Jesus. Why? Because he is my brother so I don’t feel uncomfortable joking with Jesus. As St. John Bosco said, ‘run, jump, shout – just don’t sin’.

 

“He breathed on them and said, receive the Holy Spirit.”

I have a Fantastic Circle of Friends

Before I came to know Jesus I didn’t know how many true friends I really had. I did not know who I could trust. I remember the saying ‘it is better to have a small circle of trustworthy characters around you than a large circle of backstabbers who put on the mask of a friend.’ After I came to know Jesus and started walking in his light, JC gave me a fantastic group of friends who I know I can trust. They help me grow daily in Christ. They are always there for me not just to pray together but to have a laugh together, to enjoy precious moments together, to be a rock for each other when we are going through tough times.

We can Shine in this Dark World

Jesus didn’t die for us so that we could go to Church on Sundays and live like the rest of the world every other day. Jesus paid the ultimate price for us so that we can shine in this dark world as children of the living God. We are not called just to be average Christians, we are called to be instruments of his love and peace, to realize our identity and worth as sons and daughters of Jesus. Please don’t waste one more day living the life of an ignorant Christian; instead shine in your home, schools, colleges, football teams, so that through you other people can see Jesus. Be the warrior you were created to be. Be on fire! Be another Christ!

“He breathed on them and said, receive the Holy Spirit.” John 20:22

Written by Nevil George

Evangelisation 

Lydia, She’s One Tough Cookie!

St Paul visits Philippi

St Paul is the most famous evangelist in the New Testament. Acts 16 tells of some of his travels and how he preached in many places, cast an evil spirit out of a slave girl, was flogged, put in prison and ended up baptising the jailer. He shows courage, perseverance and faith in God. But in the middle of that chapter there is one person who told him what to do. She must have been a tough character and she shows us all what we can do when we follow Paul’s instruction in his letter to the people of Thessalonica “Never tire of doing what is right.” (2 Thessalonians 3:13)

Let’s look at Acts 16:12-15:

After a few days in Philippi we went outside the gates beside a river as it was the Sabbath and this was a customary place for prayer. We sat down and preached to the women who had come to the meeting. One of these women was called Lydia, a woman from the town of Thyatira who was in the purple-dye trade, and who revered God. She listened to us, and the Lord opened her heart to accept what Paul was saying. After she and her household had been baptised she kept urging us, ‘If you judge me a true believer in the Lord,’ she said, ‘come and stay with us.’ And she would take no refusal. (or in another translation “…and she would not take ‘no’ for an answer.”) WOW!

Some people think Christians are wimps, despite so many people dying for their faith – even in horrible ways. The last few words of that passage show the real strength of Christians. They are people who will not take no for an answer. It needs some background to understand it fully.

Nothing Could Stop Paul in his Mission

Remember Paul was a pious Jew. He had been determined to stop the spread of Christianity. Then Jesus appeared to him on the road to Damascus. Paul was so determined that Almighty God had to strike him blind for three days to get him to realise that Jesus Christ was truly God. You can read that story in Acts 9. Once he was converted, nothing could stop Paul. In 2 Corinthians 11:24 he says “Five times at the hands of the Jews I received thirty nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I passed a night and a day adrift at sea; went on many journeys, with dangers from rivers, from robbers, from the Jews, from Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers at sea, dangers among false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many sleepless nights, through hunger and thirst, through frequent periods of fasting, through cold and exposure.”

He wasn’t boasting, he was just telling the truth. He was not someone who gave up easily. He was a real fighter for the faith. And yet in Philippi, he meets his match. Someone other than Christ who makes him do as he is told! Who is this woman?

The First Century High Fashion Trade

We do not know much about Lydia, but she must have been a tough cookie. In those times women were not well treated, often they were “owned” by their husbands, with no rights to do anything. Yet she runs her own business. And it is obviously a really successful business because she has a “household”. That means she owns servants and slaves. She tells people what to do – including men! And it is no ordinary business. She is in the “purple dye trade”. Purple is what Roman Senators wore. It is the colour of the clothes worn by the rich and famous. This is high fashion. Think of Coco Chanel (The only fashion designer listed on Time magazine’s list of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century), or Victoria Beckham. This woman was near the top in the high fashion trade and you don’t get there by being weak.

Lydia was Persistent

She “kept urging us.” She and her household had been baptised – would you have argued if she had been your boss? But this lady wants more. She tells Paul that he has to come and stay at her house because she wants to know more about Jesus Christ and how he was born, died, rose again and is seated at the right hand of the Father. She wants to know more about the Holy Spirit who brings life, peace and healing into our hearts. She wants to know more about the Sacraments – especially the Eucharist. And she is not going to let Paul go until he has told her.

Paul returns to her house

You can almost hear her saying. “Paul! You are to baptise all my workers and you must then tell us everything about Jesus Christ. And you are not to leave until you have done so.” It must have sounded like a royal command. So he went and stayed at her house. Paul the tough guy, did as he was told and went round for tea at the Palace. He “breaks bread” with her and her household. Later, while preaching in the city he was arrested and beaten and from verse 40 later in the same chapter we know that after Paul was released from jail he went back to her house and preached some more.

This is Christianity in action. It is God’s power at work in others that makes them desperate to know more about the God we believe in; the God who loves us and who wants us to tell others. Like Lydia we need to persevere in our search for knowledge about Christ. We must not let anything or anyone get in our way. We must not take “no” for an answer.

Evangelisation is fun!

When others ask us about Christ we must be ready to talk to them. Just like Paul did. As St Peter puts it “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, and do it with gentleness and reverence.” (1 Peter 3:15) Evangelisation is fun. I am sure that when Paul said goodbye to Lydia he knew that she would not only keep the faith, but also make sure others heard about it. Who knows, perhaps your great, great, great…grandparents heard about Christ from her and that’s how you came to be a Christian today. God bless.

Written by Deacon David Palmer

Life 

BE PREPARED

Countering Arguments Against the Catholic Faith

 

Argument 1: Christianity is no better than any other faith. All religions lead to God.

If you haven’t heard this one a dozen times, you don’t get out much. Sadly enough, the person making this claim is often himself a Christian (at least, in name). The problems with this view are pretty straightforward. Christianity makes a series of claims about God and man: That Jesus of Nazareth was God Himself, and that he died and rose again all so that we might be free from our sins. Every other religion in the world denies each of these points. So, if Christianity is correct, then it speaks a vital truth to the world, a truth that all other religions reject. This alone makes Christianity unique.

But it doesn’t end there. Jesus said in John’s Gospel, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, except through me.” In Christianity, we have God’s full revealing of himself to humanity. It’s true that all religions contain some measure of truth, the amount varying with the religion. Nevertheless, if we earnestly want to follow and worship God, shouldn’t we do it in the way that he told us to? If Jesus is indeed God, then only Christianity contains the fullness of this truth.

Argument 2: There`s no such thing as absolute truth. What`s true for you may not be true for me.

People use this argument a lot when they disagree with a statement and have no other way to support their idea. After all, if nothing is true for everyone, then they can believe whatever they want and there’s nothing you can say to make them change their minds. But look at the statement again: “There’s no such thing as absolute truth.” Isn’t that, in itself, a statement that’s being made absolutely? In other words, it applies some rule or standard to everyone across the board, exactly what the relativists (those who claim this argument) say is impossible. They have undone their own argument simply by stating their case.

The other problem with this statement is that no relativist actually believes it. If someone said to you, “There is no absolute truth,” and you punched him in the stomach, he’d probably get upset. But by his own belief, he’d have to accept that while punching someone in the stomach may be wrong for him, it might not be wrong for you.

This is when they’ll come back with an amendment to the original statement by saying, “As long as you’re not hurting others, you’re free to do and believe what you like.” But this is an arbitrary distinction (as well as another absolute statement!) Who says I can’t hurt others? What constitutes “hurt”? Where does this rule come from? “Do no harm” is in itself an appeal to something greater — a sort of universal dignity for the human person. But again, the question is where does this dignity come from? As you can see, the further you delve into these questions, the closer you come to understanding that our concepts of right and truth are not arbitrary but are based in some greater, universal truth outside ourselves — a truth written in the very nature of our being. We may not know it in its entirety, but it can’t be denied that this truth exists.

Argument 3: I don`t need to go to Church. As long as I`m a good person, that`s all that really matters.

This argument is often used but when someone says he’s a “good person,” what he really means is that he’s “not a bad person”. Bad people being those who abuse others, murder or steal. Most people don’t have to extend a lot of effort to avoid these sins, and that’s the idea: We want to do the least amount of work necessary just to get us by. That’s not very Christ-like, is it?

But there’s a much more important reason why Catholics go to Church other than just as an exercise in going the extra mile. Mass is the cornerstone of our faith life because of what lies at its heart: the Eucharist. It’s the source of all life for Catholics, who believe that the bread and wine become the real body and blood of Christ. It’s not just a symbol of God, but God made physically present to us in a way that we don’t experience through prayer alone.

Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day” (John 6:53-54). We’re honouring Jesus’ command and trusting in that promise every time we go to Mass. What’s more, the Eucharist, along with all the other Sacraments, is only available to those in the Church. As members of the Church, Christ’s visible body here on earth, our lives are intimately tied up with the lives of others in that Church. Our personal relationship with God is vital, but we also have a responsibility to live as faithful members of Christ’s body. Just being a “good person” isn’t enough.

Argument 4: You don`t need to confess your sins to a priest. You can go straight to God.

Sometimes even Catholics say something like this. I suspect that, human nature being what it is, people just don’t like telling other people their sins, and so they come up with justifications for not doing so. The Sacrament of Confession has been with us from the beginning, coming from the words of Christ Himself. “Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (John 20:21-23)

Notice that Jesus gives His apostles the power to forgive sins. The practice of confession is also evident in the Letter of St James: “Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:14-16)

It’s interesting that nowhere does James (or Jesus) tell us to confess our sins to God alone. Rather, they seem to think that forgiveness comes through some means of public confession. And it’s not difficult to understand why. You see, when we sin, we rupture our relationship not just with God, but with His Body, the Church (since all Catholics are interconnected as children of a common Father). So when we apologize, we need to do so to all parties involved, God and the Church. Think of it this way. Imagine that you walk into a shop and steal some of their goods. Later, you feel remorse and regret the sinful act. Now, you can pray to God to forgive you for breaking his commandment, but there’s still another party involved; you’ll need to return the goods to the shop, apologise and make amends for your action. It’s the same way with the Church. In the confessional, the priest represents God and the Church, since we’ve sinned against both. And when he pronounces the words of absolution, our forgiveness is complete.

 

Written by Deal Hudson

Life 

Overwhelmed by the Presence

My journey into Catholicism

Nothing is more difficult sometimes than taking the first step. I was a Jew and my journey into Catholicism started by meeting with a priest every week for four months. I didn’t know anything about Christianity until those meetings. I had met many Christian people, but I have to say that none of them really knew why they practised what they did or their own salvation history. The Priest and I spoke about many subjects and he told me many wonderful things about Catholicism, but he never sold me anything. He left me to make up my own mind.

I was Curious

After meeting Father in the Parish Office for two months I asked him what was going on at the church every week during our talks as I saw people going in and out. He told me that it was called Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and the Catholic faithful would come to Adore and keep company with the Eucharist. Of course my next question was what is a Eucharist? He explained that it was a consecrated host that was now the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus displayed in a monstrance. He showed me pictures too, that helped a great deal since I still had no idea what those things were. What I saw was a white wafer in a glass circle in a really awesome display. He also explained that they had a Eucharistic guardian who sat with Jesus during the day so he would not be alone. I asked if I could go over to the church and see Jesus too even though I wasn’t Catholic at the time. Father said of course!

What am I doing here?

The Church was just across the street from the Parish office so I stepped out into the porch and gathered my thoughts. What had brought me here in the first place was what I thought was a prompt from God. I had felt a very strong pull towards Catholicism all of a sudden, which, quite frankly, was odd since I had never thought about Christianity before. I was thinking, “What am I doing here, actually talking to a priest and now going to their church to see a decorated wafer?” My feet felt like I had freshly dried cement shoes on them all of a sudden. I practically dragged myself across the street and up to the church door. I was a bit scared and had decided that I would just step inside and see the wafer, look around and then leave. In that way I could say I had been and thank the priest for all his time, then go away never to return.

The presence was overwhelming

But God had other plans. I stepped inside the Church and looked around, letting my eyes adjust. It was very small and ornate with beautiful stained glass windows and dimly lit. At the front, on the altar, I saw the wafer in the monstrance. What happened next was unexpected to say the least and I never would have dreamt it in a million years. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe and my knees nearly buckled. The Presence was so overwhelming and powerful and I knew immediately that it was the Presence of Jesus. My thoughts could not catch up, but my heart truly understood what this was. I could not in any way, at that moment relate to a wafer in a decorated frame, but I could not deny the Presence. This was very frightening. I put my hands over my face to hide the tears flowing down my cheeks and the instant shame I felt in his Presence.

I felt so small in this huge presence

After having such an overwhelming experience of his presence in the Church I moved to a pew that already had the kneeler down as if it expected me. When I knelt, I covered my face fully and tried to hold back the sobs desperately trying not to cry out. Without thinking I whispered to the Presence “Please don’t look at me, I’m filthy and not worthy of a glance from you.” Somehow I felt the weight of my endless sins and I wanted to collapse under it. I felt broken inside and out and my mind was reeling. I begged him “Please leave me be, I can’t bear this shame and embarrassment.” I felt so small in this huge presence, I felt vulnerable, helpless and exposed as if nothing was secret anymore. I whispered again “Please don’t look at me I am a fool and a sinner.” Suddenly I felt like something was consoling me and calming my turmoil and shame. It was peaceful and giddy as if the air crackled with it all around me. I leaned back in the pew and gathered my thoughts and looked around. I noticed there were about three other people there and I felt my face flush hot with embarrassment but they didn’t seem to have noticed me.

 

“How awesome is the Lord most high, the great king over all the earth!” Psalm 47:2

He Was Thrilled That I Was There

I spoke softly to the Presence and said I thought it was Jesus. I said I was very sorry for not understanding what was happening to me and to please give me time. What I felt after that should not have surprised me after what I just experienced, but it shocked me. I suddenly sensed that the Presence was as excited as a child and thrilled that I was there. It was like a child who is excited because you showed up to their birthday party. What I felt was this awesomeness because I had accepted his invitation to visit that day and he wanted me to come back regularly and often. I felt my shame well up again and I began to cry. I realised that I had never given Jesus two seconds of my time nor any thought at all until that moment. I even laughed at people who talked about him, those who were thrilled to have Jesus in their lives and tried to share him with others. Although I had never considered him before he had invited me to visit him. I had never felt lower than I did right then. What came to mind then was the words “It doesn’t matter, you came today and I want you to come back.”

The Beginning of a very Long Road

I felt the Presence recede and that was my cue to go if I chose to, which I did. I stepped outside and the sun hit my face like a reality check. I was feeling very confused, hurt, disoriented and vulnerable and I didn’t know what to make of what had just happened to me. I don’t remember walking to my car and getting in. I just sat there for a while staring into space trying to think straight, but I suddenly felt drained and very tired and I needed to go home. I looked over at the church before pulling away and I thought to myself that this was only the beginning of a very long road ahead if I chose to take it. At some point inside the church my heart had already decided the choice and I would indeed go back again to have many more visits with Jesus.

Written by Liam Stewart

Editorial 

August 2014 – Editorial

My dear young friends in Jesus Christ, I remember when I came to England from India a couple of years ago. I was introduced to a new culture, new people, and a new language too. I was not sure how to fit into the new land and was worried whether I could achieve the mission I was called for. At that time, Jesus reminded me to call on the Helper – the Holy Spirit. I began to pray to the Holy Spirit and ask for comfort and guidance. The Holy Spirit responded to me saying, “I will evangelise this nation through children.” This brought immense joy and comfort to my soul. Soon the Holy Spirit began his work. Jesus touched the hearts of many young children and teens and brought about a transformation in their lives through retreats and conventions.

Dear children, this Holy Spirit is freely available to each one of us. In the Gospel of John, Jesus says, “The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,  will teach you all things and remind you all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26) It is the Holy Spirit who opens our eyes to Jesus and makes us believe in him more and more. The Spirit makes us realise how much the Father loves us and knows our needs and cares for us.

The Holy Spirit loves children very much. The Lord promised, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh.” (Joel 2:28) In the Old Testament, when the time came to choose the next king of Israel after Saul, God sent the Prophet Samuel to Jesse’s house. Out of his eight sons, Samuel noticed that the first son of Jesse, Eliab was the best among them. But God chose David, the youngest of all who was serving in the fields, as the anointed one. When Samuel looked at David, he was perhaps not as strong as Eliab, but what was important was that he was the anointed one of the Lord. The Lord used David in a powerful way – defeating the giant Goliath, conquering various enemies to regain the lands which were promised to Israel, living a life of worship and praise, such that the Lord said of him, “I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after my own heart, who will do all my will.” (Acts 13:22)

In the New Testament, Jesus accomplished the miracle of feeding five thousand people because one little boy from the crowd offered the little that he had – five loaves of bread and two fish. At Fatima, Mother Mary appeared to three small children, Lucia, Jacinta, and Francisco to reveal to the world the importance of prayer, the Holy Rosary and eternal life in Christ.

The call to holiness and sanctity begins at the time of our Baptism. So do not be afraid to call on the Holy Spirit. Let us open our hearts to the Holy Spirit, who can make us holy and bring purpose to our lives. I pray that each one of you will be led closer to Jesus through the Holy Spirit and be powerful witnesses for Christ.

 

Written by fr soji olikkal