As a teenager, I spent a few years living apart from my father and I guess that impacted how I relate to him now as an adult. All our experiences as we grow up mould us into the person we are and shape how we relate to different people. Recently, I was with a friend and we were talking about our relationships with our fathers and how that can make a difference to the way that we see and relate to God. It became clear that the kind of relationship one has with our earthy father will affect the way that we relate to our heavenly father. In our conversation, I came to realise that as I had struggled to receive and accept the love of my natural father, so without knowing it I had never really felt in my heart the love of God. I knew in my head that God loves me but I did not know it in my heart.


Recently, I was reading a passage of Scripture which talked about God’s love being lavished on me so that I can be called his child, his daughter and I prayed to understand the passage with my whole heart, for I long to experience God’s love in my heart. I hope that my struggles and this prayer encourage others to seek a closer relationship with God, our heavenly father. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.” (1 John 3:1-2)


The Bible says that when Jesus walked on the earth He knew what it meant to be the beloved. He had no struggle with His identity; because He knew who He was and what He was here to accomplish. I still struggle to comprehend the true meaning of God’s love for me, some days I am able to appreciate His love through His beautiful creation or through the joy and happiness that I receive from the people around me, but I know that feeling is only a small part of what God feels for me. I know that He wants me to experience His love more fully. Maybe the problem is that I am trying to use my head to understand this concept of love, and I am trying to understand a truth that is beyond human understanding. It is a Divine Truth, for in this human form I am not made to comprehend such truth. Maybe the fullness of truth will be revealed to me when I take on a form that can withstand such truth.


For now, let us seek the Lord and pray that the Holy Spirit of truth will guide us and help us to experience more of the love of God in our lives. “Our citizenship is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 3:20) Let us pray for a taste of the life to come, because we want to know the truth. We need to seek the Lord with our whole hearts and pray for a deeper relationship with our Heavenly Father every day of our lives.  For we are lost and need to be found, we are thirsty and hungry for the truth and need to be satisfied. We feel naked before our enemies and need to be clothed with the power of the Gospel. We are imprisoned by our sins and need to be set free by the Blood of the Lamb. We may feel alone, but we know that God lives in us. My prayer today is that by the power of your Holy Spirit, I may continue to hold on to the promise of your love for me, the promise that you will make me pure, like you. Even though I may struggle, may my heart never forget that I belong to you and that I am a child of God.


Written by Valerie Anne